Mercedes Benz Fashion Week – Johannesburg (What To Wear)

Bonjour mes amants,

Ok so as you know I attended fashion week this weekend and was blown away by the talent, style and sheer creativity at the event both on and off the runway. I walked around with my double vodka and lime silently judging the audience (as one naturally does) and looked at those around me. Some I was in awe of and jealous that I either didn’t have the budget, body or brains to pull off what they were wearing. Others reminded me why we have shows like “How Do I Look” and the “What Were You Thinking” section. Am I saying that I’m the ultimate guru of style? Well, not explicitly. Not to brag or anything  but I was winning fights at the Sandton Sidewalk Sale before I was even out of nappies.

Anyway, there were the Effortlessly stylish and the Tragically unstylish. So today I’m here to teach all you fashion lovers out there just how to dress when attending a fashion show. So take notes kids, this is important.

The Snob’s Steps to Effortless Style:

1. Be honest with yourself. DO NOT go out to Top Shop and buy a dress that doesn’t quite fit you. If they don’t have your size then MOVE ON! Your secret slimming underwear (which is not that much of a secret by the way) can only do so much.

2. Don’t feel like you have to wear heels. If that’s not your look then leave them behind. You need to look good but you can’t do that when your face looks like you just swallowed one of those gross things found on Fear Factor.

3. Another point on comfort. As much as fashion week is about watching the seasons latest trends, it’s also a chance to socialise, mingle and network. Some of the most influential people are at this event so you need to dress the part. Don’t miss you chance!

4. Please don’t dress like you’re going to the club. You’re allowed to be sexy but short tight bandage dresses are not allowed (preferably you won’t wear them ever but we can get to that another time). You’re there as one of the fashionably elite not to look like a hostess at an all means club.

5. Lastly, dressing to the nines isn’t mandatory. People always think they have to wear their most expensive dress and diamond encrusted heels. Ok, there is nothing wrong with wearing any of those things (except the diamond shoes, unless they’re those cute MIU MIU ones) but throwing on something a little more casual is ok too. Jeans aren’t the devil people, leggings are.

Basically, dressing for a fashion show isn’t as complicated as it seems. Honestly, I took about an hour to figure out what to wear but that’s because I always dress according to my mood and I’m convinced I have a multiple personality disorder so you can imagine my struggle. However, theres nothing worse than looking like you’re trying too hard and still managing to make the worst dressed list. So next time you’re attending a fashion show please keep these five rules top of mind. You never know who’s looking at you when you step out of your car (or Uber) and wearing Jeep is never allowed. The cars are cute but the clothes aren’t. Trust me, you don’t want to be the one out of all your friends who isn’t complimented to your outfit. You may say you don’t care now but if I know all you readers, you’re the type to take an “outfit of the day #fashionweek” pic and check the number of likes you get before bedtime.

That’s all

Your Resident Snob


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